1
00:00:06,965 --> 00:00:07,966
This is stupid.
2
00:00:07,966 --> 00:00:10,802
How are we still in the same line
from last episode?
3
00:00:10,802 --> 00:00:12,762
This could take forever.
It's why it's great.
4
00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:13,930
Have we moved at all?
5
00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:16,891
Not me. I limit my movements each day
to save energy
6
00:00:16,975 --> 00:00:18,435
in case I run into Tim Burton
7
00:00:18,435 --> 00:00:21,896
so I can punch him in the face
for plagiarizing my whole tone.
8
00:00:21,980 --> 00:00:23,898
Luckily, we can't stay in line
much longer.
9
00:00:23,982 --> 00:00:26,401
We have to get back to watch the video
I show every morning
10
00:00:26,401 --> 00:00:28,194
about the whole world exploding.
11
00:00:28,278 --> 00:00:30,196
No, dawg. I got it loaded on my phone.
12
00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:33,700
KORVO: Planet Shlorp was a perfect
utopia until the asteroid hit.
13
00:00:34,909 --> 00:00:37,287
One hundred adults were issued a Pupa...
14
00:00:37,412 --> 00:00:39,873
Are we really making one episode
go into another
15
00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:43,418
as if we're some kind of acclaimed
television program like 24?
16
00:00:43,418 --> 00:00:45,587
...stranding us
on an overpopulated planet.
17
00:00:45,587 --> 00:00:46,838
I've been talking.
18
00:00:46,838 --> 00:00:48,798
I'm holding the Pupa.
My name's Korvo.
19
00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:50,717
This is my show.
I dropped the Pupa.
20
00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:52,052
Are we really doing this?
21
00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:53,428
We're still in line, baby.
22
00:00:53,553 --> 00:00:55,055
My God, a lazy bottle episode.
23
00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:57,057
They have so many emotions,
24
00:00:57,057 --> 00:01:00,018
they don't know they can
set their mood rings to peaceful
25
00:01:00,018 --> 00:01:01,561
and get on with their lives.
26
00:01:04,564 --> 00:01:06,316
You always say something different.
27
00:01:06,316 --> 00:01:07,400
I do?
28
00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:10,487
God damn it, Terry, this sucks.
29
00:01:10,487 --> 00:01:12,197
When do we do something interesting?
30
00:01:12,197 --> 00:01:15,366
Wait for it.
We're about to do something awesome.
31
00:01:16,868 --> 00:01:18,161
Ooh!
32
00:01:18,161 --> 00:01:19,954
How fucking dope was that, Chumba?
33
00:01:20,038 --> 00:01:22,290
I refuse to view shuffling forward
as an achievement.
34
00:01:22,290 --> 00:01:24,250
You don't understand.
This line is rare.
35
00:01:24,334 --> 00:01:26,961
It's what us pro-standers
call a "Category 5."
36
00:01:27,045 --> 00:01:28,546
You rank them like hurricanes?
37
00:01:28,630 --> 00:01:30,799
Yeah, technically,
this one's named Linda.
38
00:01:30,799 --> 00:01:32,050
She's a handsome lady,
39
00:01:32,050 --> 00:01:34,552
a combination of three lines:
for an iPhone,
40
00:01:34,636 --> 00:01:35,804
a sneaker release,
41
00:01:35,804 --> 00:01:38,515
and a sandwich
branded with the Supreme logo.
42
00:01:38,515 --> 00:01:40,058
This is getting stupider.
43
00:01:40,058 --> 00:01:41,559
A Cat 5 is not to be missed.
44
00:01:41,643 --> 00:01:43,311
All the famous standers are here.
45
00:01:43,311 --> 00:01:46,356
Andrew was front of the line
for the first Xbox back in '01.
46
00:01:46,356 --> 00:01:48,858
Sarah served 3-5 for knifing
someone who cut in line
47
00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:50,819
on a Black Friday at Ann Taylor Loft.
48
00:01:50,819 --> 00:01:53,488
And Kyle Von Titsenburg,
dude with the pointy hat,
49
00:01:53,488 --> 00:01:55,865
once held a pee for 72 hours.
50
00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:56,991
Plus, great name.
51
00:01:57,075 --> 00:01:58,868
So many motionless celebrities.
52
00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:00,912
I feel like I'm at a wax museum.
53
00:02:00,912 --> 00:02:03,289
I do like what the pros are wearing.
54
00:02:03,373 --> 00:02:05,708
I can't resist the siren song
of hyper-specific gear.
55
00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:07,168
I got my New Balance shuffles on,
56
00:02:07,252 --> 00:02:09,045
my touch-the-wall-for-leverage
Asics gloves,
57
00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:11,089
and my uncle hat
so my spots don't get burned.
58
00:02:11,089 --> 00:02:12,715
Okay. I'll give it a chance.
59
00:02:17,011 --> 00:02:18,179
Where's the Pupa going?
60
00:02:18,263 --> 00:02:20,098
Look, he's getting biggie-size.
61
00:02:20,098 --> 00:02:23,059
He's gonna do something awesome.
We should check it out.
62
00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:25,353
The Pupa does love him
some wacky hijinks.
63
00:02:25,353 --> 00:02:27,772
Let's see what he's up to.
It could be our whole story.
64
00:02:27,856 --> 00:02:29,482
We can't leave line.
You promised.
65
00:02:29,566 --> 00:02:31,818
For a second,
so we can see why he got so big.
66
00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:33,945
He had a devilish grin.
He'll do something Pupa-y.
67
00:02:33,945 --> 00:02:35,488
Don't tell me you aren't curious.
68
00:02:35,572 --> 00:02:38,158
If you leave line for a second,
you lose your place.
69
00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:40,160
Fighting temptation is the whole game.
70
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:42,203
Like edging,
but you do it around other people.
71
00:02:42,287 --> 00:02:43,538
Look at that line there.
72
00:02:43,538 --> 00:02:44,622
It's moving faster.
73
00:02:44,706 --> 00:02:45,707
Rookie mistake.
74
00:02:45,707 --> 00:02:47,917
If a line looks like it's moving,
it's an illusion.
75
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:49,586
As Kyle Von Titsenburg likes to say,
76
00:02:49,586 --> 00:02:52,005
"Any line worth standing in
doesn't move."
77
00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:53,339
That's stupid. Fuck you.
78
00:02:53,423 --> 00:02:56,885
I'm joining the faster line, and I'm
gonna get my sneakers before you.
79
00:02:56,885 --> 00:02:58,720
Later, losers. Suck my mound.
80
00:02:59,721 --> 00:03:02,348
I knew you were the smart one.
Stick with me, okay?
81
00:03:03,266 --> 00:03:04,893
- Jesse?
- Hello?
82
00:03:04,893 --> 00:03:07,437
You doing that scary, teenage-girl,
silent-treatment thing?
83
00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:09,105
That freaks me out. Stop it!
84
00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:12,692
Look at the back of that guy's head.
85
00:03:12,692 --> 00:03:14,777
Ew. Looks like
a melting stick of butter.
86
00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:17,238
His hair is riding that nape.
87
00:03:17,322 --> 00:03:20,575
He has a cowlick and a wallet chain?
Mama like.
88
00:03:20,575 --> 00:03:22,785
Oh, boy, here we go.
Every time we're in line,
89
00:03:22,869 --> 00:03:25,288
Jesse falls in love
with the back of some guy's head.
90
00:03:25,288 --> 00:03:28,416
Nuh-uh. I'm thinking about what
the back of those arms would look like
91
00:03:28,416 --> 00:03:30,043
outside the back of that shirt.
92
00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:32,003
Keep it in your dress, Jesse.
93
00:03:44,432 --> 00:03:47,185
Stop fidgeting? I'm in the zone,
you're messing me up.
94
00:03:47,185 --> 00:03:50,146
To focus, I count the number
of Kardashians over and over.
95
00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:52,232
You're making me trip up
after the obese brother.
96
00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:54,150
If we have to stand,
I'm doing something.
97
00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:55,235
Like what?
98
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:57,445
Use that ray
that turns everyone into cigarettes.
99
00:03:57,445 --> 00:03:59,197
- Then we'll walk over everyone.
- No!
100
00:04:01,366 --> 00:04:04,535
Oh, fuck! Justin, the space station
turned into cigarettes!
101
00:04:04,619 --> 00:04:07,288
Just like the fortune cookie
said it would!
102
00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:10,875
Stop. Turning them into anything
would ruin it.
103
00:04:10,959 --> 00:04:13,211
The point of the line
is to be in the line.
104
00:04:13,211 --> 00:04:15,171
- The rays.
- No. No sci-fi of any kind.
105
00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:16,339
Be in the moment.
106
00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:19,842
I was trying a hobby you love,
but you love stupid stuff that sucks.
107
00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:21,594
- I'm going to take off.
- See if I care.
108
00:04:21,678 --> 00:04:23,346
Not everyone has what it takes.
109
00:04:23,346 --> 00:04:25,974
We have a couple of Howlin' Rays rays
on the ship.
110
00:04:25,974 --> 00:04:28,434
I'll shoot some carbon
into a chicken sandwich.
111
00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:29,727
Linus, what's up, my dawg?
112
00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:31,521
I was hoping I'd see you
standing around.
113
00:04:31,521 --> 00:04:35,650
Ter-bear! The Ter-inator!
Terry and the Jets!
114
00:04:35,650 --> 00:04:36,734
Oh, ah!
115
00:04:37,068 --> 00:04:38,820
What the f-u-c-k?
116
00:04:38,820 --> 00:04:40,071
Did you give him a smooch?
117
00:04:40,071 --> 00:04:41,906
It's my thing.
Don't hang a light on it.
118
00:04:41,990 --> 00:04:43,199
Thanks for holding my place.
119
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:46,744
Hired a hold-my-place stander
so I wouldn't miss a spot next to T-dog.
120
00:04:46,828 --> 00:04:48,121
He's my line husband.
121
00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:49,998
I'm sure you've heard all about me.
122
00:04:49,998 --> 00:04:53,501
Korvo. I'm Terry's actual husband
slash unmarried team leader.
123
00:04:53,501 --> 00:04:56,045
Korvo? Korv...
124
00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:57,588
No, he's never mentioned you.
125
00:04:57,672 --> 00:04:58,923
Yes, I have. Remember?
126
00:04:59,007 --> 00:05:01,718
I hate the way his eyes cartoonishly
bulge out when he's angry.
127
00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:03,094
- They do not!
- There they are.
128
00:05:03,094 --> 00:05:04,387
I would have remembered.
129
00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:05,555
Terry and I go way back.
130
00:05:05,555 --> 00:05:07,265
We started to fall in line together
131
00:05:07,265 --> 00:05:10,018
when we were waiting to get
Mr. Wonderful's new set of sponges.
132
00:05:10,018 --> 00:05:11,728
That was a day.
133
00:05:13,062 --> 00:05:14,272
Remember...
134
00:05:14,272 --> 00:05:15,940
- My God.
- All the sponges.
135
00:05:16,024 --> 00:05:19,110
Korvo was just about to take off.
He's not a line guy.
136
00:05:19,110 --> 00:05:20,778
No, I wasn't about to take off.
137
00:05:20,862 --> 00:05:22,530
- This line is just getting good.
- Really?
138
00:05:22,530 --> 00:05:25,116
Yes. I look forward to continuing
to stand with my teammate
139
00:05:25,116 --> 00:05:27,452
slash work husband in crime
slash life Terry
140
00:05:27,452 --> 00:05:28,995
and this person named Lameus.
141
00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:30,621
It's Linus with an "N."
142
00:05:31,039 --> 00:05:32,332
Oh, what did I say?
143
00:05:33,082 --> 00:05:34,542
Okay.
144
00:05:34,542 --> 00:05:36,669
Well, welcome, compadre.
145
00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:39,297
I only brought two bags
of DayQuil Blast Cheez-Its,
146
00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:40,590
so you'll have to share.
147
00:05:40,590 --> 00:05:42,175
They're Terrys favorite.
148
00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:44,469
Now with extra quil?
Goodbye, thoughts.
149
00:05:44,469 --> 00:05:46,471
I thought Terry
was a Mai Tai Goldfish man.
150
00:05:46,471 --> 00:05:48,139
That was so 2019.
151
00:05:48,139 --> 00:05:49,390
But who can keep track?
152
00:05:49,474 --> 00:05:52,352
Terry is always yammering on
about snack foods.
153
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:55,980
You know me, I'm always Bugles this
and Twizzlers that. Such a yambone.
154
00:05:57,565 --> 00:05:59,233
Oh, God.
155
00:06:00,693 --> 00:06:04,030
Huh, I knew it. It's always better
to switch to the fastest line.
156
00:06:04,947 --> 00:06:07,367
Wow, okay, we're running now.
157
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:08,785
My line rules!
158
00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:11,329
Fuck you, Terry!
159
00:06:15,249 --> 00:06:17,502
Man, we've been
in some crazy lines together.
160
00:06:17,502 --> 00:06:19,670
Remember we pretended
we lost our driver's licenses
161
00:06:19,754 --> 00:06:20,755
just to hit up the DMV?
162
00:06:20,755 --> 00:06:21,881
It took forever.
163
00:06:21,881 --> 00:06:23,674
It's hard to find
a great line these days.
164
00:06:23,758 --> 00:06:27,261
I wish we could go back in time
and stand in some bread lines together.
165
00:06:27,345 --> 00:06:29,347
I'd go through
a Great Depression in a second
166
00:06:29,347 --> 00:06:31,974
to be poor, facing the same direction
on the street with you.
167
00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:33,101
I say that all the time.
168
00:06:33,101 --> 00:06:35,144
I once waited in line
at the grocery store.
169
00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:37,188
I had too many items
for the express checkout,
170
00:06:37,188 --> 00:06:39,065
so I had to stand in another line.
171
00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:40,274
Wow, great story.
172
00:06:40,358 --> 00:06:41,943
We all got to start somewhere.
173
00:06:41,943 --> 00:06:43,027
Thank you, Linus.
174
00:06:43,111 --> 00:06:45,196
You aren't the only ones
who stood in line.
175
00:06:45,196 --> 00:06:48,074
Remember when we were in line
for the Broadway adaptation of Tenet
176
00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:50,493
and that homeless guy
threw a bag of shit at you?
177
00:06:50,493 --> 00:06:52,537
We watched him shit into it
and were like,
178
00:06:52,537 --> 00:06:55,039
"Wonder who's gonna get that bag."
And it was you.
179
00:06:55,123 --> 00:06:57,583
Oh, yeah. I think I have photos of it
on my phone.
180
00:06:57,667 --> 00:06:59,961
Hey, what do you think
of this Linus guy?
181
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:03,506
Jesse, you still hot and bothered
by Neck Douche?
182
00:07:03,506 --> 00:07:04,674
I can't help it.
183
00:07:04,674 --> 00:07:07,593
I can just picture our life together.
184
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:12,682
I can't believe you won
this giant bear for me.
185
00:07:12,682 --> 00:07:14,350
It's almost as cute as you are.
186
00:07:14,475 --> 00:07:17,019
Can I have some of that cotton candy?
187
00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:19,605
But you're already the sweetest girl
in the world.
188
00:07:19,689 --> 00:07:20,731
Swoon.
189
00:07:20,898 --> 00:07:21,899
Mwah!
190
00:07:21,983 --> 00:07:25,361
Let's ride the Ferris wheel
and dry-hump at the top until it breaks
191
00:07:25,570 --> 00:07:27,905
- so we have to get rescued.
- Yes, please.
192
00:07:27,989 --> 00:07:30,533
But there's something
I have to ask you first.
193
00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:32,326
Jessica Opposites, I've loved you
194
00:07:32,410 --> 00:07:34,495
since you saw
the back of my head in line.
195
00:07:34,579 --> 00:07:36,164
You're beautiful. You're smart.
196
00:07:36,164 --> 00:07:38,374
You rock the fuck out of a polka-dot.
197
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:40,793
Would you do me the honor
of marrying me?
198
00:07:40,877 --> 00:07:43,254
You had me at Jessica Opposites.
199
00:07:46,591 --> 00:07:47,592
Mmm!
200
00:07:48,718 --> 00:07:50,803
Oh, look,
the Pupa's a giant or something.
201
00:07:50,887 --> 00:07:53,431
I wish you could see
more than the top of his head.
202
00:07:53,598 --> 00:07:56,100
Shit. Is that a fucking Godzilla, too?
203
00:07:56,184 --> 00:07:59,395
I wonder if it's the same one
that came to a book tour last year.
204
00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:01,355
My God, did you hear that?
205
00:08:01,439 --> 00:08:03,441
The Pupa is in an epic battle
with a Godzilla.
206
00:08:03,441 --> 00:08:06,194
I bet they're stomping cars,
pushing over skyscrapers and shit.
207
00:08:06,194 --> 00:08:09,030
We could be doing that.
Can we please go see what's happening?
208
00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:11,032
You can go,
but you'll lose your spot.
209
00:08:11,032 --> 00:08:12,408
Ugh, I hate not being in line.
210
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:14,452
- Might as well cut my dick off.
- Right?
211
00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:15,703
Argh! Fine. I'll stay.
212
00:08:15,703 --> 00:08:17,163
I'm loving this hat, T-rex.
213
00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:18,831
It's nothing compared to yours.
214
00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:20,666
Here's a trick of the trade.
215
00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:24,337
You get a cap that covers your neck.
That helps collect your neck sweat.
216
00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:25,671
It's pretty cool, huh?
217
00:08:25,755 --> 00:08:26,797
Such a good call.
218
00:08:26,881 --> 00:08:29,133
My cap only covers my head
like a loser.
219
00:08:29,217 --> 00:08:31,928
You're not a loser.
You're the coolest guy I know.
220
00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:33,763
You're also the coolest guy I know.
221
00:08:33,763 --> 00:08:35,515
You told me I should die in a fire.
222
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:36,599
I was joking.
223
00:08:36,599 --> 00:08:40,061
All those hot coins I swallowed
for breakfast are not sitting right.
224
00:08:40,061 --> 00:08:42,480
- I gotta go to the bathroom.
- We don't have butt holes.
225
00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:44,398
I just sit on the seat
and calm down.
226
00:08:44,482 --> 00:08:45,566
Plus, it lets me chew gum.
227
00:08:45,650 --> 00:08:48,236
The way I chew is so disgusting,
I can't in front of people.
228
00:08:48,236 --> 00:08:50,655
Fine. I'll save your spot in line
while you go.
229
00:08:51,113 --> 00:08:52,448
Okay. Who we laughing at?
230
00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:54,492
Did I accidentally quote
a TokTik again?
231
00:08:54,492 --> 00:08:57,995
No, it's just, "save your spot"
is what a line virgin would say.
232
00:08:58,079 --> 00:08:59,539
You're green. Let me explain.
233
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:03,626
On the professional line circuit,
what Terry needs is called a line check.
234
00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:04,710
If you're cool,
235
00:09:04,794 --> 00:09:06,796
you say it like a quarterback
making an audible.
236
00:09:06,796 --> 00:09:08,965
"Line check! Omaha. Hut-hut, green 8!"
237
00:09:08,965 --> 00:09:11,300
I say "line check"
and the other pros honor it
238
00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:13,386
because we adhere
to an ancient and noble code.
239
00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:15,596
If you don't line check,
you lose your spot.
240
00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:16,889
But worse, your dignity.
241
00:09:16,973 --> 00:09:19,100
All these arbitrary rules
are hard to keep track of.
242
00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:20,560
Isn't it great? Line check!
243
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:23,187
Hey. Have fun, Terry-Dactyl.
244
00:09:24,146 --> 00:09:26,566
Thanks for the heads-up
on that line check thing.
245
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:28,901
Listen to me,
you worthless little blue bitch.
246
00:09:28,985 --> 00:09:30,861
Terry is mine. This line is mine.
247
00:09:30,945 --> 00:09:32,655
You are a piece of aardvark shit.
248
00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:35,157
Your behavior is completely different
from a moment ago.
249
00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:36,701
Were you bitten by a spider?
250
00:09:36,701 --> 00:09:38,911
I've stood in hundreds of lines
with Terry.
251
00:09:38,995 --> 00:09:41,998
I'm not gonna let you slime in here
and ruin what we have.
252
00:09:41,998 --> 00:09:43,708
So fuck all the way off.
253
00:09:43,708 --> 00:09:45,835
Wait, wait. You're being two-faced.
254
00:09:45,835 --> 00:09:48,045
I heard humans do that.
I've never seen it.
255
00:09:48,129 --> 00:09:50,506
- Fascinating.
- Leave now or pay the price.
256
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:52,758
Don't say I didn't warn you, fuckhead.
257
00:09:52,883 --> 00:09:55,886
Uh-oh! Speak of the devil.
Welcome back, Terry-cloth.
258
00:09:55,970 --> 00:09:57,305
You won't guess what happened.
259
00:09:57,305 --> 00:09:59,140
Linus was completely different.
260
00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:01,225
He was very mean
and said lots of insult.
261
00:10:01,309 --> 00:10:03,603
- Before I left, he was nice.
- I know. Linus.
262
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:06,188
Show Terry your other face.
Get all mean and nasty.
263
00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:09,817
Not sure what you're talking about.
We didn't speak a word.
264
00:10:09,817 --> 00:10:12,945
You stared at the ground like a real...
Like, you're so dumb.
265
00:10:13,029 --> 00:10:14,655
You don't have to make stuff up.
266
00:10:14,739 --> 00:10:15,781
Why would I do that?
267
00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:18,367
Maybe you're jealous of my relationship
with Linus.
268
00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:21,662
I have a robe and sweet-ass crystal
that can make me levitate.
269
00:10:21,746 --> 00:10:24,624
I'll never be jealous of some nerd
who jerks off to lines.
270
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:25,875
You're embarrassing me.
271
00:10:25,875 --> 00:10:27,501
Remember when we waited in that line
272
00:10:27,585 --> 00:10:30,796
to get into the first ever Jimmy Buffett
Buffet and Urgent Care center
273
00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:34,091
and I almost coded out 'cause I ate
that shrimp I'm allergic to?
274
00:10:34,175 --> 00:10:35,676
Oh, my God, so many fat fatties.
275
00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:38,346
Mmm! Mwah!
276
00:10:45,019 --> 00:10:46,812
This line is unstoppable.
277
00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:48,147
Shit, a lake? Oh, my God.
278
00:10:48,147 --> 00:10:50,483
We're getting in the water?
That's genius.
279
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:53,527
We're going faster than those idiots
standing on the street.
280
00:10:58,324 --> 00:11:01,786
- Hell yeah! Let's steal these bikes.
- Sick!
281
00:11:03,746 --> 00:11:05,831
Come on, Korvo.
Do squats with us.
282
00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:08,000
We work our muscles
to keep them from atrophying.
283
00:11:08,084 --> 00:11:10,044
He won't understand.
Look at his tiny legs.
284
00:11:10,044 --> 00:11:12,380
They're like matchsticks,
except they'll never be lit.
285
00:11:12,380 --> 00:11:14,090
See, that's that two-faced shit.
286
00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:16,175
It's called wordplay, Mr. Sensitive.
287
00:11:16,175 --> 00:11:18,511
Ohh, I got to take this.
It's my best friend, Jeff.
288
00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:19,679
You would love him.
289
00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:21,931
We met in a wedding line for the valet.
290
00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:24,558
What the fuck is the dealio
with you and Linus?
291
00:11:24,642 --> 00:11:26,352
What, Korvo? He's my line husband.
292
00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:28,938
Like how I have Gerard,
my spin-class husband
293
00:11:28,938 --> 00:11:31,482
and Billy Jr.,
my Sunday afternoon Costco husband.
294
00:11:31,482 --> 00:11:33,567
- Why do you care so much?
- I don't, okay?
295
00:11:33,651 --> 00:11:35,069
He touches your waist a lot.
296
00:11:35,069 --> 00:11:36,987
It's how we keep each other steady
in line.
297
00:11:37,071 --> 00:11:40,241
Did you see that alien do ancient
martial arts on that Godzilla?
298
00:11:40,241 --> 00:11:43,744
I think he's also gonna fight
that giant robot that came into town.
299
00:11:43,828 --> 00:11:46,205
Pupa is fighting a giant lizard
and a robot?
300
00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:48,624
It sounds awesome.
I wish I could see better.
301
00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:51,252
This is so frustrating!
I can't see the robot.
302
00:11:51,252 --> 00:11:53,838
I bet it does all sorts of cool stuff
like Chappie.
303
00:11:54,755 --> 00:11:56,382
How does this not frustrate you?
304
00:11:56,382 --> 00:11:58,050
I don't know. 'Cause I'm smart?
305
00:11:58,175 --> 00:11:59,844
All right. Buh-bye.
306
00:11:59,844 --> 00:12:02,680
Jeff wanted tips on smoking
a fucking rad pork shoulder.
307
00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:05,433
I consider myself
a grill master of sorts.
308
00:12:05,433 --> 00:12:07,810
- What did I miss?
- Hold it. You can't get back in line.
309
00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:09,395
"You can't get back in line."
310
00:12:09,395 --> 00:12:11,647
What are you talking about?
I'm king of this line.
311
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:13,649
- You didn't call line check.
- I didn't leave.
312
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:14,942
I stepped five feet away.
313
00:12:14,942 --> 00:12:16,402
That's called leaving.
314
00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:18,362
How do you like those wordplay apples?
315
00:12:18,446 --> 00:12:20,573
Oh, no. I'm sorry, but he's right.
316
00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:22,408
Calling line check is part of the rules.
317
00:12:22,408 --> 00:12:24,702
Without rules,
a line is just people standing around.
318
00:12:24,702 --> 00:12:25,953
You know who said that?
319
00:12:25,953 --> 00:12:28,289
Gandhi, I think, or Kyle Von Titsenburg.
320
00:12:28,289 --> 00:12:30,249
Either way, you're outtie-200, Linus.
321
00:12:30,249 --> 00:12:33,461
Find an easier line to stand in.
Maybe at the park for the baby swing?
322
00:12:33,461 --> 00:12:35,254
You shut your fucking mouth!
323
00:12:35,254 --> 00:12:36,505
You're a line loser!
324
00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:39,091
You should never be allowed
to stand next to a pro like me.
325
00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:40,509
There's the other face.
326
00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:42,094
He really does have two faces.
327
00:12:42,178 --> 00:12:43,763
- I thought that was just on TV.
- Right?
328
00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:45,973
I hope you both get gonorrhea,
go to hell,
329
00:12:45,973 --> 00:12:47,558
and there's no line to get in.
330
00:12:47,558 --> 00:12:50,186
Don't be like this.
After the waiting we've done?
331
00:12:50,186 --> 00:12:52,104
I'm starting a better line.
332
00:12:52,188 --> 00:12:54,273
That's against the ancient codes.
333
00:12:54,273 --> 00:12:56,817
Fuck the codes.
I'm Linus.
334
00:12:56,901 --> 00:12:58,819
"Line" is in my name.
335
00:12:58,903 --> 00:13:00,237
Hey, everyone!
336
00:13:00,321 --> 00:13:01,405
- Is that Linus?
- Linus!
337
00:13:01,489 --> 00:13:03,324
He won the Standee three years in a row.
338
00:13:03,324 --> 00:13:06,368
I see a lot of familiar faces in line,
and if you're a pro,
339
00:13:06,452 --> 00:13:09,872
and not a loser with blue or green skin
and no butthole,
340
00:13:09,872 --> 00:13:13,751
then follow me to a better way to stand,
right over here.
341
00:13:14,210 --> 00:13:16,420
- We better follow.
- He knows what he's doing.
342
00:13:16,504 --> 00:13:18,923
But... Come on, guys. The code.
343
00:13:22,051 --> 00:13:24,220
You ruined the greatest line
of my lifetime.
344
00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:25,721
It wasn't my fault. Linus...
345
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:27,306
I can't talk to you right now.
346
00:13:27,306 --> 00:13:30,726
You wanted to share my hobby with me,
and you made it my nightmare.
347
00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:33,479
Dur!
348
00:13:33,979 --> 00:13:35,231
Son of a bitch.
349
00:13:37,942 --> 00:13:40,069
Wow. Business is exhausting.
350
00:13:40,194 --> 00:13:42,363
Whoa, babe,
you look like a million bucks.
351
00:13:42,363 --> 00:13:44,073
I mean, you look like
you make a million
352
00:13:44,073 --> 00:13:46,075
- being a kick-ass businesswoman.
- I am.
353
00:13:46,075 --> 00:13:48,369
The markets went wild.
You know how it is.
354
00:13:48,369 --> 00:13:51,580
Ups and downs, stocks and bonds,
charts and pie.
355
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:54,291
I made of veal parmesan
without the Veal. Your fave.
356
00:13:54,375 --> 00:13:56,627
Kick off those heels
and enjoy a nice meal.
357
00:13:56,627 --> 00:13:58,337
This looks amazing.
358
00:13:59,213 --> 00:14:01,715
But the only thing I want for dinner
359
00:14:01,799 --> 00:14:05,636
is your hair-mouth
on my mouth-mouth, mister.
360
00:14:05,761 --> 00:14:07,263
- Mmm!
- Mwah!
361
00:14:08,222 --> 00:14:10,516
I cannot believe,
after ten years of marriage,
362
00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:12,101
we still have so much passion.
363
00:14:12,101 --> 00:14:15,396
Now, flip me over
like you flipped that not-veal parmesan
364
00:14:15,396 --> 00:14:18,858
Fingerling me like your potatoes.
Gravy me!
365
00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:21,318
I love it when you mix food and sex,
366
00:14:21,402 --> 00:14:23,279
just like my hero, Ina Garten.
367
00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:24,864
Wait, what are you looking at?
368
00:14:30,119 --> 00:14:32,580
That hussy. No one steals my man.
369
00:14:33,414 --> 00:14:36,125
How could you,
after all our years of marriage,
370
00:14:36,125 --> 00:14:39,044
after I work all day
to pay for your sailboat?
371
00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:41,881
- She's a friend.
- I can't believe this!
372
00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:45,467
The one thing we promised each other
was that we would never cheat.
373
00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:46,844
You're being crazy.
374
00:14:46,844 --> 00:14:47,970
He's playing you, ho.
375
00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:49,638
He fingers me on the reg.
376
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:50,931
- I knew it.
- She's lying.
377
00:14:51,015 --> 00:14:53,392
- Don't listen to her.
- I can't live like this.
378
00:14:53,392 --> 00:14:55,519
We're through. I want a divorce!
379
00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:58,898
Terry, talk to me.
380
00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:00,608
You ruined a Cat 5 line.
381
00:15:00,608 --> 00:15:02,985
It's like interrupting the path
of a strong hurricane.
382
00:15:02,985 --> 00:15:05,195
Who'd stop an awesome,
powerful hurricane?
383
00:15:05,279 --> 00:15:07,615
Probably Storm, the X-Men.
She can control the weather.
384
00:15:07,615 --> 00:15:09,158
It would prevent property damage.
385
00:15:09,158 --> 00:15:11,035
You're rubbing it in my face
you're smarter?
386
00:15:11,035 --> 00:15:13,203
- Great. Keep the hits coming.
- Sorry about Linus.
387
00:15:13,287 --> 00:15:15,664
I thought I was respecting line rules
like you taught me.
388
00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:18,626
I guess I am pretty proud of you
for using the rules.
389
00:15:18,626 --> 00:15:20,002
I'm very good at rules.
390
00:15:20,002 --> 00:15:22,046
I cannot believe
Linus created a new line.
391
00:15:22,046 --> 00:15:23,547
That's the worst thing you can do.
392
00:15:23,631 --> 00:15:25,299
We should just leave and go home.
393
00:15:25,299 --> 00:15:26,926
Why? We've been here hours.
394
00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:29,595
I'm starting to like the feeling
of hard sidewalk beneath me.
395
00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:30,721
But we're fucked.
396
00:15:30,721 --> 00:15:32,556
There are now
two legitimate-looking lines.
397
00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:36,101
When employees start letting people in,
they won't know which is real.
398
00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:38,395
The new line is all pros.
Look at the way they stand.
399
00:15:38,479 --> 00:15:40,022
They are standing pretty excellently.
400
00:15:40,022 --> 00:15:41,273
Their posture is impeccable.
401
00:15:41,357 --> 00:15:43,108
We got stuck with a bunch of slouchers.
402
00:15:43,192 --> 00:15:44,693
The store is gonna choose that line.
403
00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:46,445
Look at me.
This is hard for me to say.
404
00:15:46,445 --> 00:15:47,738
I don't like to compliment.
405
00:15:47,738 --> 00:15:49,531
- You're lazy and annoying...
- Continue.
406
00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:51,659
But you're the best line-stander
I've ever seen.
407
00:15:51,659 --> 00:15:52,910
You make it look easy.
408
00:15:52,910 --> 00:15:55,079
You could stand here hours
staring straight ahead,
409
00:15:55,079 --> 00:15:56,747
and you'd have the time of your life.
410
00:15:56,747 --> 00:15:57,998
It's being in the zone.
411
00:15:58,082 --> 00:16:00,125
Remember what you loved about lines.
412
00:16:00,209 --> 00:16:02,044
Think back,
before all the gear, magazines,
413
00:16:02,044 --> 00:16:03,504
and lifestyle of lines took over.
414
00:16:03,504 --> 00:16:05,381
Yeah, I loved how peaceful it was.
415
00:16:05,381 --> 00:16:08,133
Exactly, you don't need Linus
or any of those pros.
416
00:16:08,217 --> 00:16:09,385
The line isn't out here.
417
00:16:09,385 --> 00:16:11,428
It's inside you.
Has been all along.
418
00:16:11,512 --> 00:16:13,514
You're right, God damn it!
I can do this.
419
00:16:13,514 --> 00:16:15,140
Hey, Linus, you little nose picker.
420
00:16:15,224 --> 00:16:16,517
It's on like Ping-Pong.
421
00:16:16,517 --> 00:16:18,394
You're going down
like a clown with a frown
422
00:16:18,394 --> 00:16:19,645
who's about to get shot
423
00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:29,071
What are you doing?
424
00:16:29,071 --> 00:16:31,365
I don't need this.
I'm going back to the basics.
425
00:16:31,365 --> 00:16:33,867
Back to who I was
when I first fell in love with lines.
426
00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:36,620
What a sucker.
Who would ever pick your line?
427
00:16:36,704 --> 00:16:37,997
Terry Opposites would.
428
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:40,624
And now, we dance.
429
00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:43,460
Metaphorically.
Or we lose our place in line.
430
00:16:43,544 --> 00:16:44,545
Duh!
431
00:16:47,548 --> 00:16:49,133
Hell yeah. Mud crawling.
432
00:16:49,133 --> 00:16:50,509
This line is playing.
433
00:16:51,385 --> 00:16:52,803
Ow!
434
00:16:52,803 --> 00:16:54,096
Paint balls?
435
00:16:54,221 --> 00:16:57,850
Ha! I feel like
I'm in the military video games I play
436
00:16:57,850 --> 00:17:00,269
so I can bully humans in their 30s.
437
00:17:02,271 --> 00:17:03,313
Congratulations.
438
00:17:03,397 --> 00:17:05,065
You completed a Tough Fadder Run.
439
00:17:05,149 --> 00:17:07,568
It's a violent,
millennial version of a marathon.
440
00:17:07,568 --> 00:17:08,652
So the line is over?
441
00:17:08,736 --> 00:17:10,863
Good work completing
the course today, son.
442
00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:11,989
Oh, my God.
443
00:17:11,989 --> 00:17:13,824
All day, I thought I was in a line,
444
00:17:13,824 --> 00:17:17,244
but really, I was in the best line ever!
445
00:17:18,370 --> 00:17:20,247
It wasn't a line!
446
00:17:27,004 --> 00:17:28,756
Wait a minute.
447
00:17:28,756 --> 00:17:31,258
She was just asking if he had a tampon.
448
00:17:31,258 --> 00:17:33,886
And he carries tampons with him
to be helpful.
449
00:17:34,011 --> 00:17:36,221
Ohh, he's such a great guy.
450
00:17:37,431 --> 00:17:39,683
I'm so sorry.
I never should have doubted you.
451
00:17:39,767 --> 00:17:41,643
I love you. I'll love you forever!
452
00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:43,437
Jesse, I would never betray you.
453
00:17:43,437 --> 00:17:46,940
I like to have some super-sized tampons
on me for emergencies.
454
00:17:47,024 --> 00:17:51,653
Let's adopt up to 28 rescue dogs
and call each other "babe" forever.
455
00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:52,905
Mmm!
456
00:17:53,197 --> 00:17:54,281
Yes, I love you.
457
00:17:54,990 --> 00:17:56,575
No, I love you more.
458
00:17:56,575 --> 00:17:58,660
Fine. You do love me more.
459
00:17:59,161 --> 00:18:01,789
A Microsoft Zune face tattoo?
460
00:18:01,789 --> 00:18:03,957
Did he do that for a contest?
461
00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:05,125
Ugh, I'm out.
462
00:18:08,045 --> 00:18:10,547
Look, it's the Pupa, Godzilla,
and the giant robot.
463
00:18:10,631 --> 00:18:13,383
But they're not fighting anymore?
Are they kissing?
464
00:18:13,467 --> 00:18:14,760
What is the story over there?
465
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:17,638
Dude, this giant robot
was just handing out PS5s over there.
466
00:18:17,638 --> 00:18:18,722
I got, like, ten!
467
00:18:18,806 --> 00:18:20,641
Get back here,
tell me how that makes sense!
468
00:18:20,641 --> 00:18:22,267
What's happening there with the Pupa?
469
00:18:22,351 --> 00:18:24,019
Oh, man, I wish I could get a PS5.
470
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:25,229
Who's giving out PS5s?
471
00:18:25,229 --> 00:18:26,772
We gotta stay strong, defeat Linus.
472
00:18:26,772 --> 00:18:29,650
Of all the days not to be able
to leave a particular area!
473
00:18:29,650 --> 00:18:31,443
They're opening the store. This is it.
474
00:18:31,527 --> 00:18:33,112
I'm nervous.
Which line will they pick?
475
00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:34,238
How's my standing?
476
00:18:34,238 --> 00:18:35,906
I'm engaging my core
and doing a Kegel.
477
00:18:35,906 --> 00:18:37,199
You hot as hell.
478
00:18:37,825 --> 00:18:39,701
Why does Linus look so sure?
479
00:18:40,077 --> 00:18:42,037
Wait a hot minute.
What does he know?
480
00:18:42,830 --> 00:18:44,540
That's the guy who called Linus.
481
00:18:44,540 --> 00:18:47,209
He has an inside man.
What a cheating fuck!
482
00:18:47,209 --> 00:18:48,710
If he's gonna cheat,
we cheat, too.
483
00:18:48,794 --> 00:18:50,129
- I'm using sci-fi.
- No.
484
00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:51,630
I need to get back to line basics.
485
00:18:51,630 --> 00:18:53,298
No gear, no tricks, no sci-fi.
486
00:18:53,382 --> 00:18:55,884
If I'm gonna lose,
I'll lose the old-fashioned way.
487
00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:57,553
You're really showing
a lot of growth.
488
00:18:57,553 --> 00:18:59,388
I'm proud of you
for doing the right thing.
489
00:18:59,388 --> 00:19:01,557
Time for the ultimate focus,
to get into the zone,
490
00:19:01,557 --> 00:19:03,100
become one with the line force.
491
00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:06,270
You've got this. Close your eyes
and think about winning this line.
492
00:19:22,619 --> 00:19:24,913
Wait a minute.
They're letting our line in.
493
00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:27,416
I'm winning without cheating.
I beat him with honor.
494
00:19:27,416 --> 00:19:28,500
Indeed you did.
495
00:19:28,584 --> 00:19:31,044
I did it. I can't believe it.
I love being honorable.
496
00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:32,546
I'm gonna have integrity forever.
497
00:19:32,546 --> 00:19:34,339
That's the Terry I've never known.
498
00:19:34,464 --> 00:19:37,885
Argh! I'm gonna get you fuckers back
for this someday.
499
00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:41,054
Oh, and, Terry? You and me, we're done.
500
00:19:41,138 --> 00:19:43,223
Get yourself a line divorce lawyer
501
00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:46,852
because I am headed to the path
of a line separation
502
00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:49,938
that is definitely leading
to a costly line divorce.
503
00:19:52,107 --> 00:19:54,943
Ah, you can really taste
the Supreme branding.
504
00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:56,945
The flavor of being too cool for me.
505
00:19:57,070 --> 00:19:58,989
Ohh, I love a new iPhone.
506
00:19:58,989 --> 00:20:02,367
Paying for a new one every year
really makes me feel...
507
00:20:02,451 --> 00:20:03,535
Oh, shit.
508
00:20:03,619 --> 00:20:05,037
Oh, my God, these sneakers...
509
00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:06,747
Oh, yeah, my feet are gonna cum.
510
00:20:08,749 --> 00:20:09,875
Terry, I get it now.
511
00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:12,044
Lines are a metaphor
for the human experience.
512
00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:14,213
It's not about the destination,
it's the journey.
513
00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:16,632
You have to believe in yourself
to believe in your line.
514
00:20:16,632 --> 00:20:18,467
I just like being
the first with new stuff.
515
00:20:18,467 --> 00:20:20,135
Got damn it, Terry, that's so stupid!
516
00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:21,553
Why do you like such dumb shit?
517
00:20:21,637 --> 00:20:22,930
I hate to see his face,
518
00:20:22,930 --> 00:20:26,892
but I love to watch that neck walk away.
519
00:20:27,309 --> 00:20:28,644
I was in the coolest line ever.
520
00:20:28,644 --> 00:20:30,604
I got this T-shirt
and this medal that says,
521
00:20:30,604 --> 00:20:32,439
"I finally bested my Tough Fadder."
522
00:20:32,439 --> 00:20:34,733
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
I'm the T-shirt guy, hand it over.
523
00:20:35,525 --> 00:20:38,070
I could be the T-shirt guy
if you let me keep one.
524
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:40,447
Hello, Terry.
This is my new line husband, James.
525
00:20:40,447 --> 00:20:42,199
We're gonna wait
for the midnight release
526
00:20:42,199 --> 00:20:43,700
of the new Dan Brown novel.
527
00:20:43,784 --> 00:20:46,870
It's about how Noah solved murders
at night on his ark.
528
00:20:46,995 --> 00:20:48,121
Two at a time.
529
00:20:48,205 --> 00:20:49,289
Eat shit and die, Linus.
530
00:20:49,373 --> 00:20:51,166
I got all the husband I need right here.
531
00:20:54,002 --> 00:20:55,629
Pupa, there you are. What happened?
532
00:20:55,629 --> 00:20:56,797
Horseradish!
533
00:20:56,797 --> 00:20:58,799
What? Jesus, his receptive language
is great,
534
00:20:58,799 --> 00:21:00,509
but we need to work
on his expressive.
535
00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:01,593
Glad somebody said it.
536
00:21:01,677 --> 00:21:04,179
We better not be sitting here
in the next episode.
537
00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:06,014
I expect us to be
in a whole other place.
538
00:21:06,098 --> 00:21:07,975
- I think it's kind of--
- No, shut up.
539
00:21:07,975 --> 00:21:10,560
No more connecting episodes
or any other streaming bullshit.
540
00:21:10,644 --> 00:21:12,521
If this sentence
connects to the next episode,
541
00:21:12,521 --> 00:21:13,605
I'll be really--